Review Article: She Needs
Ali Umpleby is a member of Solihull Presbyterian Church (SPC). She is married to Jonny, one of the elders in SPC, and together they have three children. Ali has previously written for Banner of Truth magazine and The Presbyterian Network.
Nay Dawson, She Needs: Women Flourishing in the Church (IVP, 2024)
Introduction
Nay Dawson understands the power of stories. As a Christian woman passionate about evangelism, she is gifted at taking the gospel story, the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ, and presenting it creatively to her hearers to provoke their minds and hearts to consider who Jesus is and the call he makes on their lives. Not only that, but Dawson is a gifted leader, a woman who encourages and trains other women in practical ways to take the gospel message to their own contexts and communities. In many ways, Dawson’s book She Needs: Women Flourishing in the Church is Dawson’s own story, framed as a journey from her own flourishing as a young Christian, through a period of discouragement and disillusionment about her place in Christ’s church, to a renewed vision of how precious women are to the Lord and of their significant role within God’s redemptive plan. Throughout the book, which originated as a series of blog posts (also titled ‘She Needs’), Dawson interweaves the stories of other Christian women – friends and others whom she has reached through her blogs and social media posts. Although Dawson acknowledges that many women who contacted her didn’t identify with the struggles she herself faced in finding her role in the church, this book overwhelmingly highlights the stories of women who are also discouraged and disillusioned in the church to varying degrees.
These stories shouldn’t be dismissed lightly. In my own conversations with friends – both peers and older women – as I have prepared to review this book, I have heard more than one story about women being poorly treated in churches and parachurch organisations. As Mark Meynell points out in his foreword to the book, it is “a matter of Christian love and service” to listen to those in our churches who have been hurt or confused by the behaviour of others, to work out how and why the pain has occurred, and to seek resolution. I have also listened to the stories of those who expressed their own sense of flourishing in the church, of the ways in which they see themselves valued, see their gifts being used, and see other women, in previous generations as well as our own, contributing dedicated and valued service to Christ’s kingdom. It is – I think, inevitably – a mixed picture, and for each woman herself, no doubt her experience will be a mixed one, depending on her own context, personality and circumstances.
How do we make sense of these stories? I think that is the overarching question which Dawson’s book ultimately fails to answer. Nobody would deny that these stories are real and truly represent the experiences of many Christian women. But the frame in which we place these stories also matters. Where I think Dawson’s book falls short is in giving us the big picture of who God is, his purpose in creating us male and female, and how individual men and women are called to live out our gifts and callings within that bigger vision. That’s what I was left longing for by the end of the book. I suspect that in her desire to speak in both complementarian and egalitarian church contexts, Dawson has made it difficult for herself to lay the necessary foundations for this big picture. In this review, I aim to summarise the helpful aspects of She Needs, while showing how a bigger picture is necessary to help us evaluate the book’s underlying assumptions.
The Positives
So first, some positives. Dawson’s desire to share Christ with others is evident throughout her writing and is clearly something that deeply shapes her life and work. She gives her time to writing and speaking evangelistically and in training other women to do the same. She knows that in Christ and his word we have something precious, and her passion is to spread the knowledge and love of Jesus. This also affects the way she thinks about women in the church, as she is concerned that for generations who are growing up in a “feminist world”, restrictions for women in church life will be off-putting for those who may otherwise be receptive to the gospel (see pp. 92-93). This is something I’ll return to.
Secondly, Dawson’s use of social science research and statistics (with different research presented in every chapter) is helpful to the extent that it pinpoints some of the things which may make women reticent to serve in their church contexts. For example, if we know as women that we should be serving the body of Christ, but that perfectionism (chapter 1), or the fear of failure (chapter 2), or a reluctance to speak up in certain situations (chapter 3) are holding us back, then we need to address those things so that we can obey Christ’s call to serve his people, build up the body, and together reach a lost world. It may also be helpful for church leaders and other church members to be aware of particular difficulties that certain groups in their congregations face so that they can encourage – and challenge! – those who may struggle with these things.
As already noted, although it may be painful to hear, it is also right and good that we listen carefully to those who have been hurt or left confused by some of their experiences of church life so that we may know best how to help. Related to this point, it should be an opportunity for congregations, and especially church leaders, to compare their own attitudes toward women and their gifts to the attitudes and practices of Christ and his apostles. When someone brings a criticism, a challenge, or a suggestion, it is always fitting for a Christian to examine himself or herself and repent of any attitude or behaviour that is less than Christlike.
The two passages in the book which stood out to me as inspiring and encouraging were lists of Scripture references – one list of some of the ways in which Jesus treated women (p. 4) and another on pages 45-46 of occasions in Scripture where women’s voices were particularly important and used by God in significant ways. The second list in particular paints a beautiful picture of some of the ways God has woven women’s words and testimonies into the very fabric of redemption history, including the stories of Hagar, Hannah, Mary, Elizabeth, the Samaritan woman at the well, and the women who had the privilege of announcing the news of Jesus’ resurrection to the rest of his disciples. So many more could have been mentioned, but this list certainly whetted my appetite to get back to Scripture with my mind and heart alert to the many ways God has elevated women to play a glorious part in his magnificent plan and purpose.
Challenging Undergirding Assumptions
Unfortunately, the way the book is framed, and some of its underlying assumptions, detract somewhat from these helpful and positive points. Let’s take Dawson’s concern about evangelism as an example. I couldn’t agree more that as a church, we need to be able to answer the question “Is Christianity good for women?”. We also need to be able to answer it with a resounding “Yes!”. Given our belief in a loving and good creator God, who created men and women to know and love him, and to serve together in his creation, we can be confident that knowing and loving this God, living in right relationship with him and with one another, will allow us to flourish as best as we can in this fallen world. We can also be fully confident that whatever our compassionate and loving creator tells us about ourselves as men and women is true, and furthermore, that anything he requires of us that appears to us to be merely restrictive and limiting – even unfair – is, in fact, the best thing for us and is specifically designed for our good. God’s restrictions around human sexuality are a case in point – to the unbeliever, it may seem restrictive, unfair, and even cruel of God speaking through his word to deny two people of the same sex the opportunity to act upon their sexual desires as they wish. But as Christians, we know and trust that this denial is for the good of both the individuals in question and the community at large. Living according to the sexual ethics of the Bible, although perhaps difficult, will bring blessing.
Similarly, God has set out in his word certain duties in his church to which he calls men, and not women, and vice versa. The watching world might cry “unfair!”, but as Christians, we do not operate under the same assumptions as the world. Liberal individualism, which views the human person as a wholly free and autonomous being and whose end in life is self-realisation unrestricted by their own context, relationships, and even their own body, is not the vision of humanity that we find in the Bible. Instead, God created humanity in two parts – male and female – different, interdependent, and stronger and more fruitful together than we are apart. Some contemporary feminists have begun to note how this non-gendered liberal individual vision of humanity has not been beneficial for women, as it ignores (among other things) the reality of women’s bodies, the relational obligations of our lives, and thus ultimately the true best interests of women.[1] God’s word does not do this – on the contrary, it affirms the differences between men and women, as part of God’s purpose for humanity, and makes allowance for the different callings of men and women within God’s family. Thus, a woman in the church has a calling and duty to use her gifts to the fullest extent that she is able, but without needing to suppress or downplay the fact that she is a woman and all that this entails in her body, mind and relationships.
In terms of evangelism, this is a beautiful vision to offer our friends and neighbours. The God who made us and loves us is not restrictive because he is mean or because he has made women to be lesser than men. Rather, the beautiful picture in Scripture is of our good Creator using men and women to depict great and glorious spiritual realities, as each fulfils their own part in his plan. It is not men’s part primarily to be a mother to others in the church (although aspects of mothering are part of a pastor’s role – see 1 Thessalonians 2:7!). Neither is it women’s part primarily to shepherd the flock, defending the sheep from wolves and other dangers, or to be a father to others in the church (although again, aspects of stereotypical manhood are the duty of all Christians – see for example 1 Corinthians 16:13 and Ephesians 6:12-20). We each have a distinct and glorious role to play – and neither manifests its true glory without the help and contrasting role of the other. This is infinitely better than anything the world has to offer!
Of course this all comes with one major caveat – that we must make sure that as fallible and sinful people, we are not adding rules upon rules or being more restrictive than Scripture itself, but are instead allowing both men and women to fully lean into their different callings. This is where I can identify with some of Dawson’s concerns, while differing from the underlying assumption that men and women must be allowed, and even encouraged, to play identical parts in a church context. Herein lies the crux: women will have valid concerns and challenges about where and how they can serve the church, but there is also a danger of accepting cultural assumptions of gender equality and liberal individualism over the Bible’s more beautiful and glorious vision. Individual testimonies of women who feel frustrated, undervalued and restricted must be set in the context of the big picture of Scripture rather than the narrative of the cultural waters we swim in.
In a similar way, I believe that the way that social science research is used in the book to frame the issues women face is ultimately unhelpful. I’m not against social science research itself – far from it! Statistics and observations of trends can be very useful – for example, as previously noted, to shed light on some of the different ways men and women typically behave and relate at the population level. We find that good research coincides with the testimony of Scripture at every point. However, using these observations to frame the stories of women in the church risks once again taking on the assumptions and categories of the prevailing culture, such as the assumption that men and women should be (and want to be!) doing the same thing in the same way, and that if this isn’t happening, there is necessarily oppression and injustice at play. Dawson does make use of Scripture throughout the book, pointing to Paul’s image of the body in Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12, for example, to demonstrate that men and women need each other and need to work together so that the church functions properly. To be clear, I don’t think that Dawson is saying that men and women are exactly alike, or that they don’t have unique perspectives and gifts to offer the church; rather, that some of the solutions she proposes to elevate women (for example, creating more paid roles for women in churches – see page 83) don’t take these differences far enough into account, and rely on faulty cultural understandings of women’s needs. At several points the equation of the church with the secular workplace rather than envisioned as the family of God, and of ministry as a career path rather than a calling from God, confirmed by his people, is also jarring (see especially chapter 6 titled “She needs you to fix the leaky pipe”). When we begin with a faulty paradigm, we’ll end up with wrong expectations, and an inadequate church life for everyone involved – men and women both.
I’ve given a lot of space in this review to critique what I believe are some of the undergirding assumptions of the book. I haven’t spent so much time engaging with the individual concerns that Dawson and other women raise, or Dawson’s proposed solutions. That’s because I genuinely think that when we have a solid underlying paradigm, many of the presenting problems and issues which are floating on the surface can be dealt with and discussed more easily. It becomes more obvious where women are truly being mistreated and not allowed to fulfil their God-given calling. This comes to the fore in chapter 5 – “She needs you to stop fudging the issue” – where one woman writes, “There is so much uncertainty and difficulty in the way of women figuring our their calling and their role in God’s kingdom. It isn’t clear, and nobody seems to want to give any definitive answers.” (p. 70) In this chapter, Dawson also references a book called “Developing Female Leaders” by Kadi Cole, who makes the point that, “the most important thing you can do as a leader is to get clear on what you believe” (p. 71). I couldn’t agree more! However, this clarity needs to start at the foundations, not begin with a conversation about what men and women can and can’t do. This means that two churches with the same foundational convictions about the Bible’s vision for men and women may work these things out in practice in different ways. In that sense, there isn’t always a “definitive answer” to give. Similarly, in two churches with different underlying visions about the purpose of men and women, but in which men and women appear to be performing more or less the same tasks, attitudes towards women and the tone of relationships between the sexes may be affected more by those underlying assumptions than by who is and isn’t doing what. For example, it is not much help to women if they are encouraged into certain roles but still living with the suspicion that, at the base, they are a “child”, “usurper”, or “temptress”, as Jen Wilkin’s categories have it (see chapter 4 – “She needs brothers”). That is why we do need to re-examine the bigger picture of God’s purpose for men and women according to Scripture, making this vision clearer in our conversations and teaching with one another.
Conclusion
I’m grateful to have read Dawson’s book. It has pushed me back to Scripture to dig deeper and seek to understand more fully the purpose of God in creating us male and female. It has challenged me to think about my own evangelism and how to explain in more attractive and beautiful ways the good purposes of our good Creator and how we can seek to point people to him. It has inspired me to meditate on Jesus’ treatment of women and the beautiful ways throughout Scripture that God uses women in the story of redemption. It has also led to interesting conversations! For those who do read this book, I pray that we would be forced back to Scripture – together – to frame our stories, whether those are stories of pain and confusion or fulfilled service and flourishing. May we increasingly flourish together in the service of our glorious God.
Footnotes:
[1] See Mary Harrington, Feminism Against Progress (Washington: Regnery Publishing, 2023) and Louise Perry, The Case Against the Sexual Revolution (Cambridge: Polity, 2022) – both fascinating and insightful critiques of progressive feminism, which each in their own way advocate for a ‘reactionary feminism’ which takes into account the differences between men and women.
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