With whom will grandma be spending Christmas this year?

When my granddaughter came home for the weekend from university with masses of laundry, we expected her to return, all washed and ironed, on Monday. Instead, she said she had signed herself out until the start of the new term in January. Some halls of residence were in lockdown, classes were all online, and some students were so afraid of catching Covid they were being tested for it every other week!

It was depressing, she said, and she was glad to be home even though she had been so looking forward to going to university. She was cheered up by helping to decorate the family’s ancient Christmas tree. Our family will be celebrating Christmas together, including grandma, in a bubble. Knowing this made me wonder, who will other grandmas be spending Christmas with this year, complicated as it is by Covid?

Around 400,000 older people live in residential care homes. The good news for them is that now some restrictions have been relaxed, those who have families will be able to spend Christmas with them, as long as everyone in that household has tested negative. Other guidelines include social distancing, frequent hand washing and having a window open for a flow of fresh air. The guidance suggests that only the youngest, fittest residents should go to a family home for Christmas.  

This will be a relief for those who have been grieved that they haven’t been able to touch or hug their loved ones for months. A handful of newspapers have published their stories and compared care homes to prisons exercising ‘punitive’ control, often distorting the facts. It simply isn’t true that after an outpatients’ appointment at a local hospital a resident would be put into the solitary confinement of quarantine for two weeks, locked in a room, alone. Residents may be kept in a protective bubble, but they are never locked in their rooms or left in solitary confinement. They are kept occupied with activities they enjoy, as ex-Butlins Redcoat Nina Ambrose found when she volunteered as Activities Coordinator in the care home where her father, with dementia, was living. After seeing the positive effect she had on her father and others she is now considering a permanent move to the care sector.[i]

The National Care Forum estimates that it has cost care homes an average of £4,000 to make adjustments to facilitate relatives’ visits. And carers have worked hard during lockdown to keep residents contented, as well as safe. Tablets and smartphones have been used to keep residents in touch with families, as well as turning areas of the home into pop-up mini-markets, Ye Olde Inns, and more. Residents have been flown, via Google Earth, to destinations all over the world. Examples of their adventures can be seen at https://www.facebook.com/bethanycarehome/.

For those who belong to a bubble, Christmas will be joyful. But there are nearly 4 million individuals over the age of 65 who live alone, with just over half aged 75 and over. Experts note rising levels of anxiety and poor mental health amongst these, with feelings of loneliness increasing the risk of developing dementia. Deluged with warnings of Covid, many are afraid to leave home; in fact, some say they don’t intend coming out even when the pandemic has ended.

Last Christmas I wrote that the best gift of all is you – yourself. This year it is even more important, as Covid rules have separated us from one another for months. We must be public-spirited and continue to obey the rules, but even if we have to do so at a distance, let us share our time, our prayers and our thoughts in practical ways.

It has been a gruelling year for carers and care homes. Many carers have sacrificed their personal time, working long hours to cover those who have had to self-isolate.

Care homes with links to churches have been blessed with little gifts from them, and cards saying how their work is appreciated, and they are being prayed for. You could so the same for care homes and housing schemes in your area. Simply knowing that they are appreciated can lift their spirits.

For the elderly who live alone, there are brilliant little cards online that can be downloaded to put through letterboxes at https://www.countryliving.com/uk/news/a31654244/printable-postcard-self-isolation-coronavirus/. They could be accompanied by an invitation to your Christmas Service, now that churches are allowed to open over the Festive Season.

We may not be able to visit as freely as we would like this Christmas, but we can provide touches of encouragement that will make all the difference to others.

Louise Morse

Louise Morse is media and external relations manager for 212-year-old Christian Charity, the Pilgrims’ Friend Society. Founded in 1807, it provides practical and spiritual support for older people in housing and residential care, and shares its knowledge with faith groups and churches.

Contact: louise.morse@pilgrimsfriend.org.uk, 0300 303 1431, 075785 539539.

[i] Daily Mail, Tuesday 10 November 2020